P.S. #5: I Will Wait
Written by Nigel McKeon
Produced by Rae Lundberg
Content Warnings (Click to expand)
Grief, death mention, brief shouting
[THE VERY END OF THE INTRO THEME PLAYS.] RAE L: This episode takes place during Season 1, prior to the finale. [CLINKING OF METAL JEWELRY. VAL TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND LETS IT OUT SLOWLY, LIKE SHE’S TRYING HARD NOT TO CRY.] VAL: (softly) Fuck. Come on, Val, get it together. [A SHORT, POLITE KNOCK AT THE DOOR. IT OPENS.] CLEMENTINE: Hey, Val, you in here…? VAL: (whispering) Oh, shit. [COMMOTION AS VAL TRIES TO HIDE WHAT SHE WAS LOOKING AT.] CLEMENTINE: Sorry, sorry, uh, hope I’m not intruding… Shit, Val, are you okay? VAL: (throat tight with tears) It’s nothing, I’m fine. CLEMENTINE: (gentle laugh) I know your opinion of me isn’t all that high, but I’m not stupid. Do you want to talk about it? [FOOTSTEPS ON CARPET AND CLOTHES RUSTLING AS CLEMENTINE MOVES CLOSER TO VAL. VAL SNIFFLES.] VAL: I-I don’t know, it’s stupid. CLEMENTINE: Can’t be any more stupid than bottling up your feelings and not telling anyone. VAL: (humorless laugh) I suppose you’re right. You’re good at this, you know? You should quit the Post and start a dazzling new career in self-help. I’m sure Nicholas won’t mind. CLEMENTINE: You’re deflecting, Val. Now, tell me what’s going on. VAL: (muttered) Dammit. [CLINKING OF JEWELRY AS VAL REVEALS WHAT SHE HAD HIDDEN.] CLEMENTINE: (small gasp) Rings? Don’t tell me you’ve got a secret marriage you’ve been hiding all this time. Besides, isn’t being hung up on an ex kind of my thing? VAL: (chuckle) Well, you’re such an inspiration to me I just had to follow your example. Also, fuck no. What do you take me for? An idiot? CLEMENTINE: (gently mocking) Oh, I’m sorry. Family heirloom, then? VAL: No, that’s hidden in a drawer somewhere. I’m holding onto them for someone. Have been for a long while now. CLEMENTINE: (quietly) How long? VAL: Just coming up on nine years, I’d say. CLEMENTINE: They must have meant a lot to you. VAL: Yeah, she did. CLEMENTINE: Can I see them? VAL: I guess. [VAL PASSES THE RINGS TO HER.] CLEMENTINE: (reading from the rings) “Heaven is a place where nothing happens.” ... “The only truth is humanity.” Hm. Sounds profound. [THE RINGS ARE PASSED BACK.] CLEMENTINE: What was she like? VAL: Her name was… is… I don’t know, her name’s Nora. She was like nothing you’d ever met. We met on a trip across the country. She was searching for someone, and I was running away from something. We were all trying to stop something terrible from happening. There were five of us, and she was somehow more badass than me, if you can believe it. CLEMENTINE: I don’t think that’s possible. (sympathetic laugh) VAL: Yeah, well, she was. CLEMENTINE: If she’s more badass than you, I have to meet her. VAL: (pause) You can’t. She’s… she’s gone. CLEMENTINE: (quietly) Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t… Val, I’m sorry. VAL: It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. Besides, she’s not dead. At least, I don’t think she is. Either way, she’s gone. CLEMENTINE: What do you mean? VAL: (getting more and more upset) There was a choice. It was either her or me, that was the choice they gave us to stop everything from falling apart. They said it had to be one of us, because our connection was the strongest. I suppose you’d call it love. And she did it to protect me, to protect me. “Hold onto these, will you? I’ll be back before you know it. Just you wait.” That was the last thing she said to me. She walked into the Mouth… and then she was gone. She’s gone, and it’s all my fault. CLEMENTINE: I don’t know what half of that means, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that it’s not your fault. Whatever happened to Nora isn’t your fault, Val. You can’t blame yourself for it. VAL: What if she doesn’t come back? What if she doesn’t come back, and it’ll have been my fault? CLEMENTINE: (soft) Oh, Val… VAL: (cutting her off) What then, Clem? CLEMENTINE: I’m not sure, I… I don’t really have a lot of experience in this kind of thing, I mean… it’s obvious she still means a lot to you, and you’ve been waiting for her to come back for nine years now. Part of me wants to tell you, just keep waiting, believe that she’ll come back. I don’t know her. Maybe she will, maybe she won’t. But as it is, the waiting is hurting you. VAL: What are you saying? CLEMENTINE: I don’t know, Val. I’m trying here. The other part of me wants to tell you - kindly - to try and move on. At what point do we stop waiting for things to happen to us and just start living again? VAL: (ruefully) You sure don’t pull punches, do you? CLEMENTINE: I’m sorry. But hope can only last so long, especially when it’s hurting you like this. VAL: But why does this keep happening to me? I can’t stop. Everyone keeps leaving. Nora is gone, and yes, it might have been for a good reason, but goddammit, I want her back. Everyone keeps leaving me and now I’m stuck in this stupid fucking job and I can’t even leave. Can’t even go out further than the Skelter. Everyone left and now I can’t leave. What’s the goddamn point? (yells) FUCK! [VAL SNIFFLES. CLOTHES RUSTLE AS SHE BURIES HER FACE IN CLEM’S SWEATER.] VAL: (muffled, through tears) It’s all my fault… CLEMENTINE: No, it’s not. It’s not, okay? I don’t know what happened, and I can see you’re not up to telling me about it right now. Maybe you never will. But, if you do, I’ll always be here to listen to you. Milo too, I’m sure. But you’ve got it wrong about one thing, Val. You’ve got people here. If you weren’t here, then Nicholas would actually have an easy job. Can you imagine how dreadful that would be? [THEY BOTH LAUGH A LITTLE AT THAT. VAL’S CHUCKLE IS MUFFLED.] CLEMENTINE: And besides, Val, you’re not alone. You’ve got Milo and I. No matter how fucked-up and weird things get on the road to finding Ashley, you’ve got us. You’ve got us, and you’ve got me, too. RAE L.: (as the outro plays) This mini-episode was guest-written by Nigel McKeon. Many thanks to Nigel, and to you for listening. The Night Post will return with Season 2 on August 11. If that seems like too long to wait, join our Patreon for two-day early access to episodes, and weekly bonus stories.