Episode 1.06: Not Always Greener
Written & Produced by Tyler Anderson
Content Warnings (Click to expand)
Loud noises, death mention
NICHOLAS: (as the intro plays) At the edge of Gilt City, invasive vines reach and grasp with their own desires, and all await the arrival of the Night Post. [SOUNDS OF THE CITY IN THE EARLY MORNING FADE IN] MILO: (groan) This job is going to be the death of me… I didn’t know so many people still sent letters! Especially out to the boonies… [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH, AND VAL’S VOICE GROWS LOUDER.] VAL: Hey Milo, wait up! MILO: Hm? Oh, hi, Valen-- Val. What ya need? VAL: Wow, super friendly there, bud. We haven’t seen much of you since your first few nights. Where have you been skulking? MILO: I haven’t been skulking anywhere. I just get here early, deliver mail, then leave. Not really here to hang around. VAL: Okay, okay. I get it. Sorry for coming on like that. I know it’s tough to get adjusted to this place. MILO: Sorry… I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just… (sigh)… haven’t slept much. And been spending the past few days putting up flyers. VAL: For what? Oh… MILO: Yeah. VAL: Look... I know we don’t know each other, and I’m sorry I can’t tell you what happened to Ashley or where he is. If I knew I would tell you, but I don’t... and I’m terrible with feelings, and figured you wouldn’t want to talk about him. So I just let you do your thing. MILO: You’re right, I don’t want to talk about him; I just want to know where my husband is, okay? And now I sound like a dick because I’m yelling at someone who was trying to be nice to me. But I don’t really know you, or Clementine, or Nicholas, and when I can sleep, all I see is Ashley laying there -- bloody and bloated and rotting -- and you three standing over him, just… watching him like a trio of vultures. VAL: So you honestly think we know what happened to Ashley? That we killed him? Look, we barely knew him. He was here before both of us, and barely spoke to anyone. We wouldn’t have known he was married if it weren’t for his ring! MILO: Wait-- VAL: Yeah, he never mentioned you. Ashley was always nice, but never stuck around to talk to anyone. We barely knew him and had practically no reason to mess with the man. I hate saying sorry, but I really am. You’re stuck in this job with the rest of us, and the way people just get thrown into it is shit. Clementine and I have talked and want to help, but it’s up to you. You’ll have to trust us eventually, or this job is gonna be pretty miserable for you. CLEMENTINE: What about me? Oh Val, what did you do? VAL: I wasn’t trying to. We were just-- MILO: She didn’t do anything, Clementine. I’m just exhausted and snapped, and just want to get home and try to sleep at least a little. CLEMENTINE: If you say so. We wanted to know if you’d like to go to Wilson Arboretum with us. MILO: Oh, I didn’t know we even had one. VAL: Well, we used to. It’s out of bounds. MILO: Huh? CLEMENTINE: Outside the city limits. It hasn’t been officially open to the public for at least 20 years now. I ran across it two years ago during a shift, and managed to track down a few Tribune articles about it. Some guy-- VAL: Wilson Wilson. CLEMENTINE: Terrible name. Anyways, it’s nearly seven and I have somewhere to be, but you’ll come with us, right? MILO: I-- (sigh) Look, I appreciate the offer, but I haven’t been feeling very social the past few weeks. VAL: Which is why you should come. Sitting around won’t do you any good, and I’m sure you've already plastered the city with those flyers… (Clem elbows her) Ouch! CLEMENTINE: We won’t hold it against you if you don’t. VAL: I will! (Clem elbows her again) H-hey! CLEMENTINE: Will you hush? MILO: (chuckles) I guess you’re right. When were y’all thinking? VAL: How about tomorrow? You can take a few shots before bed, have a good sleep, and we can leave around ten? MILO: Sounds okay to me. VAL: Great. Clementine will meet me at my place, and then we’ll swing by in the truck and pick you up, alright? MILO: Are we allowed to use the trucks like that? VAL: Nicholas has never said any different, and we’ve never asked. CLEMENTINE: And I kind of… live in mine? MILO: Ehh… I mean, I don’t plan on saying anything. Here’s my address. CLEMENTINE: We’ll swing by about ten. MILO: Alright, sounds good. [THE VAN’S ENGINE IS NOISY, AND THE TIRES OVER ROUGH ROAD NOISIER STILL.] MILO: Does she always drive like this? CLEMENTINE: Yes. You get used to the motion sickness pretty quick though. And... I’m sorry it’s such a tight squeeze. I could have sworn these bench seats were a bit bigger. VAL: And my driving is fine! Haven’t run into anything in… a few months at least. Just chill out. At least we have some decent weather for once. No clouds. MILO: For now, I guess… How far out is this place? CLEMENTINE: Not terribly far. About an hour? You know how rough the roads get further out. It’s slow going, is all. VAL: If you want something to pass the time, let me check my bag. I'm sure I've still got a letter or two in here. MILO: Is that a regular thing for you? Invading other people’s privacy? VAL: Wow, harsh. And yeah, it is kinda my thing. MILO: Maybe you should keep your eyes on the road instead! VAL: Alright, chill. Here, just pick one. MILO: I’m sure it won’t be the first law that’s broken today, so why not? Wow, do you just hoard them in here? VAL: Well, no. Some of those are undeliverables. The address doesn’t exist, no return address, and so on. I’m surprised you haven’t had any yet. We’re supposed to turn them over to Nicholas, but that kind of seems like a waste to me. MILO: Ah. Well… what about this one? Wait, why is it sticky? And why does it smell like… (sniff) moldy bread and bubblegum? Oh, that’s disgusting, Val. VAL: Then pick a different one! I’ll throw that one away eventually. MILO: Okay… this one. Looks normal enough. Nothing sealed in blood, no mysterious stains or smells… [THE VAN RUMBLES ON IN (RELATIVE) SILENCE.] VAL: Well? MILO: Huh? VAL: Are you going to read it? MILO: I am! Oh, you mean out loud? VAL: That was the plan. CLEMENTINE: He definitely shouldn't. MILO: Um, alright. [MILO CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND THE ENGINE NOISES DIE AWAY, REPLACED BY EERIE, PULSING MUSIC] MILO: (reading) Dear Mr. Albright, It has become quite obvious that you have no plans to return that which is not yours. My first two attempts at collecting on your debt resulted in the severe maiming of one of my employees and the painful death of another. I’m not overly concerned about Hugo; he has been skimming off the top for quite a while now, and you honestly saved me the trouble of taking care of him personally. You have saved me a bit of time and money on that end, and I shall take it into consideration when calculating your total debt. However, while I am of course concerned about the sizable sum which you owe, it is the book I am most concerned with. Stealing is one thing, but stealing something that important from someone like me was...unwise. And frankly, quite stupid. When we first broached the subject of my extensive collection of books you feigned an innocent curiosity I shamefully did not see through. To thrive in my business, one must be good at lying and at sniffing out other liars. Perhaps I’m a bit out of practice on the latter half. I’m sure you are now intimately aware of what that particular volume is capable of. Here is my final warning: return the book to me, and I won’t have you killed. We will work out the monetary debt you owe at a later time. You’ve made a deal with more than one devil, and I am by far the more generous and forgiving of the two. And I do know you are receiving these letters, and I know you are reading them. You’re too cautious not to. But you are not invincible, Mr. Albright. You seem to be under the misguided impression that you are an untouchable specter, one that is now unbeholden to his worldly debts. But no matter how much of yourself you lose to that book, you are still very much of this world. You can still feel regret, and fear, and pain. And should you choose not to return what is legally and rightfully mine… well, it will be quite unfortunate for you. Choose wisely, Mr. Albright. My property will return to me eventually, and it’s in your best interest to do so willingly. I know where you are, and I know where you’re likely to go next. I’ve survived this long by knowing when I’ve been bested, and I sincerely hope we share that same instinct. The fear of death drives many to commit the most disgusting grievances against their fellow man. Your continued cooperation with that book -- and what lives within its pages -- will lead to a fate that is so much worse. Yours in confidence, H. [THE EERIE MUSIC FADES OUT, AND THE SOUNDS OF DRIVING RETURN.] MILO: What… was that. VAL: Hmm... first one in a while about a rogue book. Let me see that envelope… yeah, I’ve had this one for a bit. The Albright guy is probably way gone by now. MILO: Guess he wasn’t too bright after all. VAL: Good one! MILO: Is this a normal thing, though? Not all of the letters we deliver are like this, right? CLEMENTINE: Obviously not. A decent amount of the undeliverable ones are, though. VAL: And a lot of the random ones I peek into. Hadn’t given much thought to it in a while, though, honestly. Nothing about this job is normal. And I’d rather read about all the spooky stuff than run into it. CLEMENTINE: If you want to risk being cursed, that is. MILO: I mean, true, I guess, but-- sheesh, that’s a lot. VAL: You’re not wrong… Wanna read another? MILO: Absolutely not. CLEMENTINE: That's for the best. [THE VAN DOOR IS DRAGGED OPEN, AND THE AIR FILLS WITH THE SOUNDS OF BIRDS AND INSECTS. THEIR FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH ON GRASS AND LEAVES.] VAL: And we’re here. Welcome to the W. Wilson Arboretum. CLEMENTINE: Founded by Wilson Whitworth Wilson thirty years ago. Several of the articles I found mentioned it was a decently popular social spot up until he died. MILO: And then what happened? CLEMENTINE: Overgrowth that couldn’t be contained, failing infrastructure, and a couple of dead bodies. VAL: Not many people come out here now, from what we can tell. See some graffiti here and there is all. CLEMENTINE: Just watch your step. The concrete is basically gravel at this point. MILO: Oomph… no kidding. [THEY WALK ON IN SILENCE FOR A WAYS. TWIGS SNAP UNDER THEIR FEET.] MILO: Wow. I’d almost forgotten what nature sounds like. And-- (sniff) What’s that smell? VAL: Honeysuckle. And a lot of it. Don’t remember that from last time. CLEMENTINE: Me neither. It’s all a bit more lush than I’d expected. MILO: Yeah, when was the last time it rained? Three, four weeks ago? VAL: Sounds about right. I wouldn’t think too hard about it, though. Not like anything out this way is necessarily normal. CLEMENTINE: Better to just enjoy it. MILO: Guess so... (long pause) The further we go, the thicker this vine coverage is. Look -- hanging off the trees, all over the path. VAL: Must not be paying enough attention on your route. This stuff is everywhere out here. Chokes out nearly everything it can cling to. MILO: Sorry, not much time to sightsee when I’m working… (pointed) in the dark. [IN THE DISTANCE, RUNNING WATER CAN BE HEARD.] VAL: Have to be more observant then. You’ll end up dead or worse if you don’t wise up. MILO: So I got invited out here for a lecture, then? VAL: No, just trying to help you out, is all. MILO: Hm, right. VAL: Problem? CLEMENTINE: Shh! You two hear that? MILO: Hear what? VAL: Yeah, I can hear it. If you mean the damn cicadas. CLEMENTINE: Obviously not that. It sounds like water. MILO: Wait… yeah, I can hear it. This way, I think? VAL: Careful. Go too far and we’ll have a pretty tough time getting back. CLEMENTINE: I agree. I’m not too keen on getting lost out here. MILO: And neither am I, but it can’t be too much farther. VAL: Then lead the way, jungle man. [THE GURGLE OF WATER, STEADILY GROWING LOUDER, IS RECOGNIZABLE AS A SMALL WATERFALL.] MILO: Oh, wow. This is amazing! CLEMENTINE: I didn’t realize part of the arboretum was built into a quarry. The old promotional maps I found didn’t show that, at least. VAL: It does feel amazing though, the water coming off the rocks… like a warm morning where the fog hasn’t quite lifted yet. MILO: Well, we don’t need to think about it too much, right? (chuckles) Might as well stop for a bit before we turn around. VAL: I second that. Need to get these shoes off for a bit. CLEMENTINE: Wouldn’t go sticking my feet in the water, though. VAL: I’m a lot of things but I’m definitely not stupid. Hey, wait up! MILO: Sorry, got a bit excited. VAL: Just watch where you sit. Some of that ivy -- the bright green stuff with the white veins -- is poisonous. And if you get covered in it, you’re riding in the back. MILO: (after a pause) Has Ashley ever mentioned this place? CLEMENTINE: I don’t think so. MILO: Hm.. good. I’ll surprise him when he gets back. He’s much more the naturalist. Sure he’d love it. [VAL SNORES FAINTLY IN HER SLEEP.] MILO: Well, that didn’t take long. She kind of reminds me of my parents’ cat. Princess could fall asleep just about anywhere if there’s a bit of sun. CLEMENTINE: You still think he’s coming back? MILO: (sigh) I’m not stupid. He’s been gone for two months. Something’s happened to him. Could be some sicko has him locked up in a basement, or he read the wrong letter, or… look, I hope he’s coming back. And until I find out where he is, I’ll keep looking. CLEMENTINE: He’s that important? MILO: Obviously, or I wouldn’t have married him. Sorry, didn’t mean to snap. It’s kind of like if a little kid loses a parent. They’re just gone one day, and no one will tell you what happened or why. They could be in jail or missing or-- (matter-of-fact) dead. We’ve grown a lot together, and he means more to me than just about anything else I can think of. [IN THE BACKGROUND, GUSTS OF WIND BEGIN TO RISE.] CLEMENTINE: I see. MILO: (sniff) So… no. I don’t know if he’s coming back. But I have to hope he is. [VAL CRIES OUT IN ALARM AS SHE WAKES.] CLEMENTINE and MILO: (overlapping) What? VAL: Oh… wow. Sorry, um, bad dream, apparently. Wait, when did these clouds roll in? How long was I out? MILO: Maybe twenty minutes? I didn’t notice them either. CLEMENTINE: We should head back. If we get caught in a storm out here… VAL: Yeah, no telling how long it’ll take to get out of here. MILO: Back up this way, I think. If we head through the break in those trees, we should be headed back in the direction of the old path. [THREE LOUD KNOCKS ECHO, SEEMINGLY FROM NOWHERE.] MILO: Let’s go! Now! VAL: What was that? MILO: No clue, but if it’s like last time-- CLEMENTINE: Last time? This has happened before? MILO: On the day I got my letter from the Post. Was supposed to still be light out but got crazy dark, super quick. VAL: And the knocking? MILO: (hurriedly) That too. On our front door. Couldn’t see or hear anyone! Just the knocking. Finally opened the door and there was nothing there. Well, besides the letter. [THE KNOCKS AGAIN, BUT THEY ECHO LONGER THIS TIME, ALMOST DISTORTED.] MILO: And I don’t know if I’ll get that lucky twice! Come on! VAL: Hurry! CLEMENTINE: I’m trying! These damn vines-- MILO: Are they… moving? [AS THEY RUN, RUNNING WATER CAN STILL BE HEARD. BEYOND THAT, A RUSTLING THAT GROWS LOUDER AND CLOSER.] VAL: Does it matter?! We need to be moving! MILO: Wait, where is the path? VAL: I thought you knew where it was? MILO: I’m not the one that’s been here before! If I was going the wrong way, y’all should have told me! CLEMENTINE: Look, it’s this way! Will you two stop arguing and run before… [ON CUE, THE FAMILIAR THREE KNOCKS.] MILO: Great… let’s go! (running sounds again) CLEMENTINE: Quick, this way! The path cuts through these trees. VAL: I think we’re close to the van-- Ow! CLEMENTINE: Val! VAL: Help me get these vines off! MILO: Here, I have this! CLEMENTINE: A knife? VAL: (overlapping) A knife? MILO: Chill, it’s just a pocket knife. Aaand… there! Run! CLEMENTINE: The van! VAL: Hurry, get in! [THE SLIDING DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS. THE ENGINE TRIES DESPERATELY TO TURN OVER, AND FAILS.] MILO: Come on, we need to move! VAL: I’m trying! [SHE TRIES AGAIN, BUT THE ENGINE JUST CAN’T MAKE IT.] CLEMENTINE: Milo, look! MILO: That can’t be good. Um, Val, the trees are, shaking and, moving closer? VAL: I can see that, dickhead! I’m trying! [THE TRUCK FINALLY COMES TO LIFE, AND VAL GUNS IT. THEY PULL OUT ONTO THE BUMPY ROAD.] VAL: Shit! What was that, Milo? MILO: How should I know? I’m not an expert in freaky weather and sentient plants! CLEMENTINE: Chill out. Let’s just focus on getting home. VAL: And leaving whatever that was way the hell back there. MILO: I hope we can. NICHOLAS: (as the outro plays) Thank you for joining us on tonight's route. You can reach the couriers of Station 103 at nightpostpod@gmail.com or on Twitter @nightpostpod. If you're satisfied with your postal service, please rate and review us. Send a letter to your favorite online personality, and tell them about The Night Post.