Episode 1.07: Two for Sorrow
Written by Elizabeth R. C. Lundberg
Produced by Rae Lundberg
Content Warnings (Click to expand)
Loud noises, stalking
NICHOLAS: (as the intro plays) At the edge of Gilt City, a red-eye moon gazes coldly over its dominion, and all await the arrival of the Night Post. CLEMENTINE: Are you busy, Val? VAL: Right now, or in general? Because I try not to make a habit of being busy at work, but if I looked busy, then good. CLEMENTINE: (sigh) Tomorrow. I need to go into the city. VAL: Look at who’s being adventurous. Did you need directions? CLEMENTINE: No. I wanted to know if you would go with me. I don’t like going into the city. It makes me uncomfortable. You’re familiar with the area, and I thought maybe, if you didn’t have anything going on-- VAL: Aw, Clementine, I’m surprised. (teasing) After all this time we’ve worked together, you’re finally asking me on a date. (pause) Okay, (laughing) spare me the papercut eyes. CLEMENTINE: We’re going to visit my ex. VAL: Not the worst date I’ve ever been on. I can pick you up tomorrow. CLEMENTINE: Thank you. If your driving kills me I don’t have to go through with this after all. VAL: Are you going to share the juicy details now, or will I have to wait for the inevitable aftermath? CLEMENTINE: There aren’t any juicy details. Uh, she wasn’t happy. We broke up, and she moved where she knew I wouldn’t want to follow. VAL: Don’t let me stop you from making your big, embarrassing romantic gesture, but why go after her now? CLEMENTINE: Don’t roll your eyes if I tell you. VAL: When have I ever? CLEMENTINE: I’m worried about her. It’s not like we’ve been talking, but I’ve been having these dreams about her, and I think they mean something is seriously wrong. VAL: Dreams, huh? CLEMENTINE: I knew you would roll your eyes. VAL: I’m not, and I didn’t. I think those dreams mean you need to get back out there. Stop burning all that sage in your truck. Not everything is a symbol or sign. CLEMENTINE: Weren’t you the one asking me about mysterious, spooky packages? VAL: That’s different. If you don’t believe that there’s something messed up going on at the Post, you’re not paying enough attention. A man’s missing, and probably dead. CLEMENTINE: Don’t say that. What if you were the one missing and presumed dead? VAL: I should be so lucky. What time should I pick you up? [IN THE BACKGROUND, SOUNDS OF DRIVING WITH THE WINDOWS DOWN, FREQUENTLY CHANGING SPEEDS.] VAL: What’s wrong? You’re paler than usual. CLEMENTINE: Just holding in another cheap jab at your driving, and my breakfast. We’re not in a hurry, you don’t have to speed. VAL: I thought I was doing my duty to reunite you with your lost lady love. You shouldn’t be nervous. People have done crazier things than appearing unannounced on their ex’s doorsteps. CLEMENTINE: That’s not the plan. VAL: Didn’t realize you had a plan, that’s even better. CLEMENTINE: Well... VAL: Well? CLEMENTINE: Not a plan, exactly. I don’t want to disturb her or try to win her back, but I needed to check to see if she was okay. Hopefully, I won’t even have to talk to her. VAL: Stalking your ex? We’re going to have more fun today than I thought. CLEMENTINE: We’re not stalking anyone. Why do you have to make this sound worse than it is? (pause) I think we’re getting close. VAL: How do you know, if you’ve never been here before? CLEMENTINE: It’s familiar. I recognize it from my dream. It’s like I’ve seen this block a dozen times before...and that’s her building right up there. VAL: If all this stress lately has been getting to you, maybe you should talk to someone instead of going on this wild ex-girlfriend chase. Not that I don’t love the messy, chaotic energy, but before you head up there and embarrass yourself, maybe you want to consider a healthier option? We could always go out day drinking, if you’re having a breakdown. [CAR SOUNDS DIE AWAY.] CLEMENTINE: I told you, this isn’t about me. I’m fine, but if something is wrong, I won’t forgive myself for not trying to help. VAL: Okay, okay, but I didn’t sign on for emotional clean-up after this whole thing goes south. CLEMENTINE: (matter-of-fact) I didn’t ask for that, did I? Just for the ride. VAL: Understood. Lead the way, then, Ms. I’ve-Been-Here-Before-In-My-Prophetic-Dream. [TWO PAIRS OF FOOTSTEPS DOWN A LONG HALLWAY: ONE SET HEELED, ONE SET SOFT-SOLED.] CLEMENTINE: These apartment buildings are sad. Everyone squeezed into these tight rooms linked by these miserable-looking corridors. VAL: Nicer than my place--and yours. CLEMENTINE: Then what’s that smell? VAL: That’s one thing about living in the city, Clem. You’ve got to learn how to mind your own business. CLEMENTINE: Why do I feel like you enjoy making things up to see if I believe them? Hold on, I think we’ve passed it. This door seems right, number forty-four. VAL: The mat’s a nice touch, but that plant’s been dead for a long time now. These places never get any natural light. (pause) Are you going to knock, or just wait for blood to start dripping from the walls? CLEMENTINE: I don’t think she’s home. I guess it doesn’t hurt to check. [CLEMENTINE KNOCKS GENTLY, TWICE. THERE’S NO ANSWER.] CLEMENTINE: That’s a relief. [SHE TRIES AGAIN, MORE FORCEFULLY, THEN TURNS THE KNOB AND ENTERS.] VAL: Breaking and entering from the pigeon who won’t even peek inside a birthday card. Clementine, I am surprised at you. I don’t think I’ve ever liked you better. CLEMENTINE: Knew I should’ve asked Milo instead. Come on, let’s get out of the hallway. VAL: Personally, I love unhinged, stalker Clem. What’s first, rifling through her lingerie drawer, or cutting out the eyes from all these pictures? Look, here’s one with you in it. [A CAT MEOWS, A CHEERFUL TRILL OF GREETING. CLEMENTINE CLICKS HER TONGUE AT THE CAT.] CLEMENTINE: (cooing) Acorn, come here, handsome. Come here. VAL: Your ex got the cat in the break-up? Probably for the best, (laughing) that’s the ugliest cat who's ever lived. Is there something wrong with him? CLEMENTINE: He’s Maggie’s cat, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t like him. (baby-talking to the cat) Right, buddy? Do you remember me? I love you so much, you’re so handsome. (kissy noises) VAL: This is sad to watch. CLEMENTINE: He’s not as mean as he looks. Here, if you want to pet him-- [ACORN INTERJECTS WITH A NOT-SO-FRIENDLY MEOW.] CLEMENTINE: Uh, guess he has to get to know you first. VAL: If this is a pet-napping, that cat’s riding in the back of the van. He’s watching me, and I don’t trust that evil eye. CLEMENTINE: No, I’d never take him away from Magpie. [SOUNDS OF RUSTLING THROUGH VARIOUS OBJECTS. CLEMENTINE IS SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING.] VAL: Magpie-- CLEMENTINE: Um, Margaret. Most people call her Maggie, but I always called her-- VAL: Oh no, it’s cute. [BEADS RATTLE] Explains these beaded curtains, and a lot of this decor actually. [RUSTLE OF FABRIC AS VAL SITS ON THE COUCH AND GETS COMFORTABLE.] No offense, but can you tell me how tearing apart your ex’s apartment is meant to keep her safe? What are you looking for? CLEMENTINE: Not sure, but I’ll know when I find it. VAL: Maggie’s got some mail here. CLEMENTINE: (warning) Don’t. VAL: The envelopes are open. She’s already read them. That can’t count, right? CLEMENTINE: Please, don’t. VAL: Um, I don’t mean to sound judgemental. Your personal business is my entertaining sideshow, but there are a lot of letters from you here. CLEMENTINE: I’m sorry, what? We haven’t talked since we broke up. I haven’t sent any letters. VAL: What would you call these, then? [FRANTICALLY SEARCHING THE PAPERS] CLEMENTINE: Oh, no-- VAL: More embarrassing than you remembered? It’s okay. I’m sure she wasn’t compiling them all to file a police report. It’s not like you’re in her apartment searching through her things right now. CLEMENTINE: I didn’t send these. These are private. I wouldn’t have sent them. I never expected her to see them. VAL: What do you mean? CLEMENTINE: I wrote these letters, but they weren’t ever meant to be read. They’re not even proper letters, more like journal entries. Look at the envelopes. They aren’t even addressed. VAL: Here, let me see. CLEMENTINE: I’d rather not. [PAPERS CRUMPLE AS CLEMENTINE STOWS THEM AWAY.] VAL: Why be shy about them now? Don’t you think I won’t judge you less harshly than Magpie? CLEMENTINE: Please, let me save the last scraps of my dignity. I can’t believe she’s read these. They’re-- VAL: They’ve gotta be good. CLEMENTINE: Private. No one was supposed to read these. They’ve been shoved into every crevice of my truck. I can’t believe I didn’t notice they were missing. VAL: Too late to panic about it now. The damage is done. (pause) Hey, don’t look so miserable. Whatever is in those letters can’t be too bad, right? What did you write? “I love you so much. I miss you. Every evening before I open my eyes, I remember the smell of your hair and cry.” CLEMENTINE: (to herself) I should have asked Milo to come with me. [THE DOOR OPENS SUDDENLY. PAPER GROCERY BAGS CRINKLE AND ARE SET DOWN HEAVILY. A SHOCKED PAUSE.] VAL: Let me guess, you’re Magpie. MAGGIE: Clem, I-- (sigh) I told you not to come back here. CLEMENTINE: What-- MAGGIE: Whatever you’re going through, I don’t want to be a part of it. I can’t take you showing up here at all hours. Leaving all of your emotional, dramatic notes. And now you’ve brought along someone else? Who is this, your new girlfriend? VAL: No. CLEMENTINE: (overlapping) No. VAL: Definitely not the new girlfriend. CLEMENTINE: Maggie, please, slow down. I’m--I’m sorry, I know it looks bad. MAGGIE: It doesn’t look bad, Clem. It is bad, and it’s been bad. CLEMENTINE: I don’t understand what you’re talking about. I haven’t been here before today. I had a feeling something was wrong and wanted to check on you, that’s all. MAGGIE: You wanted to check on me by breaking into my apartment. CLEMENTINE: The door was unlocked. MAGGIE: That isn’t an invitation. I lost my keys, and I am not trying to pay the super to replace them. You can’t just barge back into someone’s life because you miss them, Clementine. I’m sorry you’re lonely and having some kind of breakdown, but you can’t keep coming here, and I don’t want to find any more of your sad letters around. CLEMENTINE: You have to believe me, I haven’t been here before today, and those letters--you were never supposed to see them. MAGGIE: You brought them here, Clem. Why wouldn’t I read them when you hand-delivered them? VAL: Obviously, I’ll have to play marriage counselor here. If Clementine says she hasn’t been stalking around here, I believe her. Magpie, she was too much of a scaredy cat to drive into the city on her own. MAGGIE: Don’t call me that. If that’s what she told you, she was lying. Clem’s been here, at night, in her truck with her boo-hoo notes at least a dozen times. Maybe more, because these envelopes turn up all over the apartment. It’s scaring me, Clem. CLEMENTINE: It’s not me. I promise, it isn’t. VAL: Our haunts are getting busier by the night, Magpie. It’s hard to imagine how Clementine would find the time to be the office golden girl and still drive out of her route to deliver her love letters. CLEMENTINE: Val’s right, I wouldn’t have time to drive into the city and finish my route on time. MAGGIE: Say whatever you want. You’ve been here before. You’re back again, and now I want you gone. Both of you. Now. CLEMENTINE: Please, wait. I was worried--I thought something might be wrong, and now I know. I’m not sure what’s happening here, but it’s not my fault. I want to help. MAGGIE: I don’t want your help, Clem. I want you to leave before I have to call the police. VAL: Very intimidating, but we would be long gone before they got here. You know they won’t take “my ex-girlfriend is stalking me with emotional letters” seriously, so why don’t we try to work this out together? MAGGIE: Sorry, why is this any of your business? CLEMENTINE: I’m not stalking-- VAL: Who do you think has a better chance of working out this situation? Two veteran pigeons, you alone, or some fat-pocketed pig who doesn’t care if you live or die, let alone if you’re a little bit haunted. CLEMENTINE: Maybe it’s best if we leave. I’m sorry again, Maggie. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I know you don’t have a reason to believe me, but-- [CRASH OF SOMETHING METALLIC FALLING, AND ACORN HISSES.] CLEMENTINE: Oh, it’s her. MAGGIE: What the hell? CLEMENTINE: I’ve seen her before. MAGGIE: She’s never been here during the day before. What’s she doing? VAL: Looks like she’s making breakfast. Has the other Clem done that before? MAGGIE: You brought it here, and you can take it with you. Go, now. CLEMENTINE: How could we have brought her with us? She walked out of the bedroom. She could’ve been here the entire time. MAGGIE: I don’t know that. How am I supposed to know what’s going on when you or it or something has been haunting me? CLEMENTINE: I know less than you do. Someone had to steal those letters from me to deliver them to you, and I can’t explain what’s happening, but I don’t think I started it. I knew something was wrong, and maybe there’s something I can do to fix it. MAGGIE: No. I don’t want your help. I don’t want anything from you. VAL: Alright, let’s get out of here. Good luck with dark Clementine. Looks like she caught your stove on fire. [A SMALL FIRE CRACKLES, AND A PIERCING SMOKE ALARM BEGINS TO CHIRP. DISHES AND OBJECTS CLATTER AS CLEMENTINE RUSHES TO DOUSE THE FIRE.] CLEMENTINE: Here, let me-- MAGGIE: Don’t. I’ve got it. (pause) Will you stop looking amused and open the window? VAL: Oh, was that directed at me? I’ll see what I can do. (grunt) It’s been painted shut. Might want to talk to your super about that, if Clementine doesn’t burn down your apartment first. MAGGIE: What are you doing? Leave it alone. CLEMENTINE: She’s not dangerous. At least I don’t think so. She probably doesn’t understand--it’s like she’s dreaming. VAL: You aren’t going to make out with the shadow version of yourself, are you? MAGGIE: Don’t touch it, unless you’re going to bring it with you. CLEMENTINE: Are her eyes different from mine? I can’t tell, they look-- VAL: Looks like you’ve got competition. Sorry, Magpie, but Clementine’s moved on. MAGGIE: Stop it, both of you. My stove’s still on fire. CLEMENTINE: Oh! She’s cold, but she’s so real. Doesn’t she look just like me? VAL: She does. You make an attractive couple. MAGGIE: I’m glad you’re both having a good time. [MAGGIE PUTS OUT THE FIRE WITH AN EXTINGUISHER, AND THE SMOKE ALARM FINALLY STOPS.] MAGGIE: Now get out, before I call the police. VAL: Okay. Clementines, separate. We have to bounce before Maggie calls in the piglets. CLEMENTINE: I’m sorry, Maggie. I don’t know what caused this, but I wish I could do more. MAGGIE: You’ve done plenty. Wait, take that thing with you. CLEMENTINE: What? I can’t control her, at least I don’t think I can. I’m sorry-- VAL: Nevermind sorry. Let dark Clem live her life. Maybe she and Magpie will make it work. CLEMENTINE: You’re not funny. Come on, let’s go, now. VAL: Aww, look. She does want to come with us. MAGGIE: Thank goodness. I don’t want to see any of you again, full offense intended. [MAGGIE HAS BARELY FINISHED HER SENTENCE WHEN SHE SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT.] VAL: (lightly) That could’ve gone better. CLEMENTINE: I can’t imagine it going any worse. Let’s get out of here. I want to find a soft bog to sink into. VAL: (amused) Your new girlfriend’s following us. CLEMENTINE: Don’t call her that. It’s not funny. VAL: I can think of a dozen office pranks we could pull with two Clementines, and at least half of them would give Nicolas a heart attack. CLEMENTINE: Let’s just get in the truck before she catches up. VAL: And abandon your better half? CLEMENTINE: Please, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to be in the same place for too long. I don’t understand this, but I think we should err on caution’s side. [TRUCK DOORS OPEN AND CLOSE, ONE AFTER THE OTHER.] VAL: Whatever you say. Goodbye, shadow Clementine! Keep in touch. CLEMENTINE: Hurry up, she’s walking faster. VAL: Wait. She’s got something. Looks like she wants to give us a letter. CLEMENTINE: What-- VAL: Thank you, I’ll take that. [VAL UNFOLDS THE LETTER AS CLEMENTINE STARTS THE TRUCK.] VAL: Dear Clementine-- CLEMENTINE: Hey! It’s obviously for me. VAL: Mm-hm. And you’re driving. Or were you going to stick around and let her in the truck? [CLEMENTINE PUMPS THE GAS AND PULLS AWAY.] CLEMENTINE: (trying to grab the letter) Hey, uh, you don’t--you don’t, just--you don’t need to read that. VAL: You brought me into this. I deserve to see what your weird double has to say. Dear Clementine, you always said that it helps to write a letter, even if you don’t mean to send it, so I’ll give this a try. When we broke up, I didn’t-- CLEMENTINE: It’s from Maggie! You can’t read that. VAL: You just broke into the woman’s home. You don’t really have the moral high ground here. Just drive. [THE DRIVING SOUNDS FADE AND ARE REPLACED BY A BITTERSWEET PIANO TUNE AS THE LETTER IS READ IN MAGGIE’S VOICE.] MAGGIE: Dear Clementine, You always said that it helps to write a letter, even if you don’t mean to send it, so I’ll give this a try. When we broke up, I didn’t explain myself very well. I don’t blame you for how things fell apart--not really. I know you did your best, despite being dealt a difficult hand. That’s just it, though, isn’t it? It was always your best, alone. In that old house, surrounded by stacks of your father’s letters, I could see how it all weighed on you. In the way your shoulders would slump when you were deep in thought, the way you’d do that long, shuddering sigh as you settled down to sleep in the morning. But no matter how I tried, you wouldn’t share that burden with me, and I spent a long time trying to understand why. Because I wasn’t chosen? Because you didn’t think I could handle it? Now that there’s distance between us, now that I’ve left that house and its ghosts behind, I think I get it. You thought you were doing the right thing. Protecting me. But it’s just like this city, trying to deny what grows and breathes all around and through it. I lived it. I felt your fear and guilt and uncertainty while I held you through the sunrises, and your careful half-truths could only hide so much. I didn’t hold you responsible for what you inherited. I didn’t even resent your job, with its inconvenient hours and the unkind stares that followed us. When I chose you, I chose your burdens too. That’s how it works. But you shut that door even as you kissed me, walked your path alone while I trailed behind. It made me feel useless, helpless, like a woman watching the stormy waters as she waits for her love to return from the sea. The truth is, I didn’t know you like I wanted to. You never let me. I still miss you sometimes, of course I do, but I have my own long and winding path ahead, and I’m not looking back. That’s it, I guess. What do I do with this now? Burn it? Seal it with a kiss? Stash it away for my heirs to find when I’m gone? What happens, in this world of signals and messengers, to a letter unsent? You’ve made me so superstitious. Good luck, wherever you are. Magpie. [THE SONG ENDS, AND WE’RE BACK IN THE MAIL VAN, DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY.] VAL: Wow, that--that made me uncomfortable. CLEMENTINE: But you persevered anyway, didn’t you? (taking the letter) Give me that. VAL: Today was fun. Should we plan another date? I’ve got a few exes that hate me, maybe we can visit one of them next week. CLEMENTINE: Maybe Maggie doesn’t hate me after all. The letter was...kind of nice. VAL: Yeah, I’m guessing she wrote it before the doppelganger...and the home invasion. CLEMENTINE: (sigh) Things have a way of working themselves out, I suppose. For better or for worse. NICHOLAS: (as the outro plays) Thank you for joining us on tonight's route. You can reach the couriers of Station 103 at nightpostpod@gmail.com or on Twitter @nightpostpod. If you're satisfied with your postal service, please rate and review us. Send a letter to the one that got away, and tell them about The Night Post. Promo for Neighbourly: MATTHEW O.K. SMITH: Psst--come here. Yes, you. Welcome to Little Street. Under the skin of each house hides a secret that most of its keepers would do anything to bury. How well do any of us really know our neighbours? Curious to discover what dwells behind the doors of Little Street? Subscribe to Neighbourly, distributed wherever good podcasts are found. For more information, go to neighbourlypod.carrd.co or follow us on social media @neighbourlypod. That’s Neighbourly with a “u,” by the way. Thanks for listening. Come visit us soon.